How to Prepare for a Track Day – Oregon Style


Start obsessively checking the weather forecast.


Check weather forecast.

Spend 4 hours in garage listening to classic rock and tightening bolts.


Check weather forecast.  Say loudly that long range weather forecasts are meaningless.

Tell wife not to plan anything for the week because you have a track day on Friday


Check weather forecast.  Swear.   Tell wife to apply for transfer to Colorado.


Check weather forecast from three providers.  Disregard two unfavorable forecasts.

Mention casually to wife you’ll need to take lunch on Track Day.  Just PB&J and carrots.


Do not check weather forecast.  Declare that meteorology isn’t a real science.

Spend evening in garage listening to modern rock and rotating tires.

Mention to wife that you’ll need some fruit for your lunch.  And something to drink.


Check weather forecast.  Submit yourself to the will of weather gods and ask them humbly to favor you.

Lay out hydration strategy and purchase 36 gallons of beverages.

Mention to wife that you’ll need something salty with lunch, “like Pringles.”

Eat a light, balanced supper of protein, starch and ice cream.

Track Day

Get up ten minutes before alarm goes off.

Feign surprise when your wife gets up to make you lunch.   Pretend you meant to do it all along.

Feign surprise when only 10% of hydration strategy fits in trunk.

Give wife wedding ring.  Tell her “it’s safer to drive without a ring.”  Do not mention hot track groupies.

Pack car.  Fidget.  Pace.   Pretend to talk to your wife.  Watch clock.

Leave half an hour before you meant to.  


Author: Nadya Boone

Nadya makes cocktails, writes, and knows random useless things. She would say she named the Unibrain, except that by definition the Unibrain named itself.

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